Go big or go to bed.

"our journey is not what but who we are..."

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

another one...

Sorry, another BH song that is just striking me to the core tonight....

love always,

'lilwaldo

"Corcovado parted the sky
And through the darkness
On us he shined
Crucified in stone
Still his blood is my own
Glory behold all my eyes have seen
Have seen

I am blessed
I am blessed
I am blessed
I am blessed
I am blessed to be a witness

Some have flown away
And can't be with us here today
Like the hills of my home
Some have crumbled and now are gone
Gather around for today won't come again
Won't come again

I am blessed
I am blessed
I am blessed
I am blessed
I am blessed
I am blessed
I am blessed to be a witness

So much sorrow and pain
Still I will not live in vain
Like good questions never asked
Is wisdom wasted on the past
Only by the grace of God go I
Go I

I am blessed
I am blessed
I am blessed
I am blessed
I am blessed
I am blessed
I am blessed to be a witness

I am blessed
I am blessed
I am blessed
I am blessed
I am blessed
I am blessed
I am blessed to be a witness"

Monday, September 01, 2008

reflection

Of the lyrics below (ok waaaay below), the ones that sing out to me the most are:

"I don't know where you came from
And I don't know where you've gone.
Old friends become old strangers
Between the darkness and the dawn"

I'm officially unemployed, for the time being that is. And as I search to figure out what's next, there are a lot of things calling to me. But the one thing I keep reflecting upon are the people who matter most to me. For certain, there is my family. Above anyone and anything they are the ones who I can count on. They are also the ones who are unafraid to tell that which I don't want to hear. They are the ones who have picked my spirits up when noone elese could. They may not all be blood related but they are all my family. Then there are my friends. I have a lot of them, but what I am realizing some people set them selves apart. There are some people in my life who aren't technically family, but they aren't just friends. They are people who I can completely bare my soul to, and they never judge. They accept, embrace, and love who I am and I am so lucky to have them as a part of my life.

Then there is the one above all else who is set apart from the rest. My big sister. Yea, I know, she falls into the family category. But she's not just family. She's the one I aspire to be. The one who's approval I seek more than anyone else (sometimes to my own demise). The one who isn't just a sister. she's family. she's friend. at times she was an arch-rival (but that time is over). at times she's the only one in this world who knows how to console me. ok, maybe that's an understatement. Most of the time she's the only one who knows what words to say and what words don't need to be said. without her, i wouldn't be me. and i hope she knows that. Precisely at the moment I fear I've drifted too far from her, she is there, with exactly the words I need (but may not want to hear).

Now, you maybe wondering, what's with all the mushy stuff lil? Well I just spent 10 days with my boyfriend (though that doesn't seem like the right word to describe someone who is so much more to me than just a commonplace boyfriend) and with no one else. And now I have a bunch of time to figure out what is next. First, some soul searching. What is next for 'lil? Well, first and foremost, more of what I love. More mountain climbing, more skiing, more of all of that. AK has me inspired to figure out just what peak is next (s0rry mom and dad). Secondly, what is next for lil? Well there is the big outstanding non-work question, am I ready for the next big step that is inevitably coming my way? Yes, I believe I am. Are the others involved? I hope to god so. Otherwise, I've f'd up big time. But, as we all know, 'lil survives. I've dealt with much worse and somehow always manage to find a smile on my face, and I always will. That's the funny thing about being an eternal optimist. There's always something waiting on the wings, even when all you can see is night fall.

love to all.

lil'waldo


So here we go. Taking another big step forward. Back to the 'lilwaldo who does precisely what is right for her, knowing full on the consequences of her actions and always ready to accept them.


"What started as a whisper,
Slowly turned in to a scream.
Searching for an answer
Where the question is unseen.
I don't know where you came from
And I dont know where you've gone.
Old friends become old strangers
Between the darkness and the dawn

Amen omen,will I see your face again?
Amen omen,can I find the place within
To live my life without you?

I still hear you saying
"All of life is chance,
And is sweetest,is sweetest when at a glance"
But I live,
I live a hundred lifetimes in a day.
But I die a little
In every breath that I take.

Amen omen,will I see your face again?
Amen omen,can I find the place within
To live my life without you?

I listen to a whisper,
Slowly drift away.
Silence is a loudest,
Parting word you never say.
I put I put your world
Into my veins
Now a voiceless sympathy
Is all that remains.

Amen omen,will I see your face again?
Amen omen,can I find the place within
To live my life without you?

Amen omen,can i find the strength within