Lessons Learned

2006 was a big year. When I look back on the turmoil that I called my life this time last year and all the ups and downs over the year I think 24 was the biggest learning year of my life. You learn a lot in school, more in high school and even more in college. But I don't believe you truly learn who you are until you are faced with challenges and know, deep in your heart, that you are the only one who can make the desicion, because the desicion is 100% yours. Not your parents. Not your sister's, not your friends, but yours. And while there are many things I have learned this year, the one thing that keeps coming to my mind is the fact at the end of the day we all have to make the desicion that is right for us. Whether it is in relationship to family, loved ones, friends, work, careers, passions, any or all the above we are responsibile for our own happiness. It is when we rely on others for our happiness that things begin to fall apart. Trust me on this, as I know first had. I've spent a good portion of my life letting my happiness be wrapped up in others, which only lead to dissappointment.

But now, life is different. Not better or worse, just different. Maybe a little bit better. Because I am on my way to finding happiness, first and foremost with myself. And once I started doing that, it continues to amaze me how much better off things can be. I have found a person who I care about that wants to be with me because of the person I am, not someone I am trying to be. Things that used to bother me no longer do. Things that used to scare me, like being alone, are actually sources of happiness for me now and give me time to do what I enjoy doing.

No longer will my life be dictated by other peoples' perceptions that I fear.

Why all this, do you ask? Maybe because I'll be 25 in a few short weeks. Maybe because 1 year ago my life was flipped upside down. That question I don't know. But what I do know, is I have learned a lot and I am looking forward to my new future with my new happiness.

"That you never saw the signs
That you never lost your grip
Oh, come on now
That's such a childish claim
Now I wear the brand of traitor
Don't it seem a bit absurd
When it's clear I was so obviously framed

Now you act so surprised
To hear what you already know
And all you really had to do was ask
I'd have told you straight away
All those lies were truth
And all that was false was fact"
- Lessons Learned