sometimes....

Today's horoscope. "Sure, you're silly -- but your silliness has a purpose. Stand behind your frivolity with confidence. Even when it has no point, it helps you enjoy life a lot more than some overly serious types do. Who needs more? "

Interesting this would come precisely today. Last evening was my good friends birthday/house warming party. And at one point, for some reason, I felt completely out of place. Which really was absurd. It was my best friends house, her boyfriend is a great friend of mine, I knew about 99% of the people there, but for some reason, something didn't quite fit. And I think what I now realize is that people really don't know what to do with me sometimes. I mean, I know I am a lot to handle. I have a hella lot of energy. And I'm not afraid to make an arse out of myself when necessary (sometimes when its not necessary). But what I'm left wondering - does this turn people away from me? And if it does, that kinda sucks. But, on the flip side, I'm not putting on a mask and I'm not pretending to be something I am not. I am what I am. And I enjoy it. You may think I'm a little crazy but I wouldn't trade my spunk for the world. Maybe that's arrogant of me. Maybe I'm being a little selfish - but maybe I am finally becoming comfortable with who I am. And maybe, I am done of trying to pretend because I might rub people the wrong way. There is a certain need for people to be appropriate at times. I would not run through a black tie wedding doing the chicken dance. However, I will try and see if I can skip an entire evening instead of walking, just for the challenge. Or, I might happen to wear obnoxiously bright pink pants, just because I love the color pink. There are many people who do things just to get attention, but I think its important to realize, some of us do these things because it is who we are. We're an eclectic bunch, but we will definitely add a little spice to your life.

lilwaldo